I feel shattered... So shattered...

Hey... It's Jess.

It's funny how everything can shatter at the slightest thing changed in your day. How everything could be running so smoothly and then with one thing it's all gone. No smiling and laughing or singing with power.

I can't believe that I could really see myself being fine. Just getting up every morning not having to put on a fake smile to get through that day. Being a happy girl for once in a long time, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I could't have predicated what happened to me, and if I could have, I would have turned my cell off. I would have stood there with a smile on my face as I sang my part, looking over at each one of my friends with a true smile across my lips.

But does any one know how hard that is to do? How hard it is to stand up tall and strong after being beaten down? To stand up tall and look strong when your so broken it hurts to breath?

Well you know what? I don't want to be the girl that puts on a fake smile. I’ll yell & scream and show everyone how I’m feeling because I’m not the kind of girl who pretends just to make everyone else happy. You CAN’T make everyone happy all the time. Yeah, like every other person out there I’ve had my fair share of demons, but I’m not on the verge of tears all the time because of it. I smile. I laugh. I chose to be happy because I’m not going to waste my time being miserable because of some boy. I’ve been heart broken. I’ve broken hearts. But we’ve just got to move on. You can’t turn back the clock, so live in the moment. Live every second like it’s your last; have as much fun as you can - live it up - because you’re only young once. Try to make amends with friends who you’ve had stupid drama with while you can, before it’s too late. You’re all young, you all deserve to be happy, you’ve all had a past; but that shouldn’t stop you from living.

Any way hope your day is super-maga-foxy-awesome-hot!!