It's called hurt for a reason...

OK!! Jess here again...

So I'm kinda in a really pissy mood!! So I'm saying sorry now if this gets ugly!!

So as you can see the title is called "It's called hurt for a reason", that's exactly what I'm talking about here. There are so many things that no one fucking see's in this fucked up world. There is heart break and emotional problems up the yin-yan!! None of this shit should be happening.

Iv'e gone through it, more then once to. Iv'e had people I thought liked me for who I was, stomp on me and tell me that I was shit. Iv'e had other people I thought were my best friends saying things behind my back. Saying that I'm not worth shit and that I'm a stupid little bitch that doesn't need any friends. That what they do for fun is steal my friends, and put me alone in this fucked up world. Iv'e had a guy say that he loved me and then went behind my back and let my friend (one of the ones that hate me and want to take everything from me) and let her give him a blow-job. Iv'e had people say they where gonna help me 'cause I had a bad problem with lying, and you know what they did? They through me down and pushed my face in the mud (not really), saying that I'm a bitch and that I need to grow the fuck up.

Well get this!!

There are people everywhere going through the same shit or worse then me. There are people that get rapped everyday or they get teased that their gay! Doesn't matter what the hell it is, no matter what is said, it still hurts like a bitch.

I even tried to change for those people. I tried to become a better person, or their version of a better person. I grew my hair out and dyed it brown. I stopped listening to my favourite band and listened to theirs. I stopped being everything that I ever wanted to be, and it was all to make them happy. All so that they wouldn't through me to the side, thinking I was a piece of shit. I stopped drawing an writing my story. I stopped reading 'cause they said it wasn't kewl. Stopped everything I loved!!!!

But you know what? THEY CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES!!!!


Iv'e gotten back in to my writing and it's amazing!! I'm drawing again and they can go fuck off 'cause anime is awesome!! I cut off most of my hair (it's barley above my shoulders) and I dyed it Ruby Red!! I'm going to school to become a 2D animator and I'm also going for acting. They say I can't sing... Yes I can!! They say I need to lose weight, no I don't!! Look in the history books, theres no fucking skinny, anorexic bitch standing there going "OMG IM SEXY". No!!

There are people out there that have it worse then me. They can have their family doing this to them, and sometimes that's even worse. However the one thing that teens (girls the most) listen to, are they friends. 'Cause for some fucked up reason, everyone wants to be excepted in to this stupid clone run world. There are people that try to stand out and get shot down so hard, all because they are showing that there is something other then the clone life.

You see all those girls that look like skin and bones, you see them everywhere. Well all of the above is what makes it happen. Words being shared, promises broken, everything shut down. There are more deaths from teen suicide everyday then you want count.

And do you want to know that scary thought that is at the back of your mind that you don't want to acknowledge...


It's only going to get worse if we don't do a thing about it... think that over for a while.


Bye.

Out living?

OK!! Hey my name is Jess....

The last few that I've put in where just things I was taking off of my Xanga (never understood it, got kewl pics though). I'm just trying to put my name out there so that I'm not forgotten if I die any time soon. Not that I'm going to or anything ^__^

BTW: It's Kewl... not cool lol

So many people now a day (The adults) are scared of out living their children. Sorry to put this bluntly; but you probably will. There is more in the world now a days that can kill us. You guys grew up with very little fast food chains and fast cars. The children and teens now a days have sports cars that go 350hr or more, and we can just turn around and find a McDicks (McDonalds). Mind the fact; that yesterday I was walking around the stupid little hick town I live in and there was this LITTLE girl screaming at her mother saying she needed a new cell phone. The little girl lives next to me... she's 5.

If you really look at it, the world is a hell hole. It's a ticking time bomb waiting for the stupid catalyst to set it off.

I mean come on!! There is global warming going on that no one wants to even acknowledge and it's all 'cause of the cars that are EVERYWHERE and the shit that we use everyday. You gotta take this into thought... Your living in this time. More then likely, your part of the reason.

I'm not trying to sound like a bitch. And I'm not some tree hugger. I would just prefer to live longer then maybe 18 years. I have a plain for my life, I wanna be a graphic designer. I want to be the one doing the new logo's for the major companies or maybe do something I love. I love drawing and I love watching Anime, so why not make my own. Or maybe one day finishing the book I'm writing and show it to the world, not just read ones (I love reading though).

If you ask most of the people in my school, this is what they would say...
Global what?
What's an ozon layer?
McDick's is bad for you? Shit maybe I should eat better.
But leaving my car on keeps it warm.
The hell should I know what I'm doing when I'm older.

Is that what you want to see? No one having any f***ing idea what their going to do when they get out of high school. That for me is this year!!!! I already know what I want to do, where I want to move. Ask any one else from my school and the first thing their going to say is...

LET'S GET DRUNK AFTER GRADUATION!!!! 


Wow, what prize winners their going to turn out to be. But really; take this into mind. The teens are probably going to die before their parents. With the shit that we do? There isn't a kid in my school that hasn't bee shit ass drunk or stoned or f***ed out of their mind. If those are the people want running the world then fine by me.

I can't say that I'm perfect!! I've tried weed, gotten shit drunk and did stupid stuff. However I'm not doing it any more, and I know people at my school that do that stuff everyday and night.

Just a little thought for you to ponder... Till next time!!

She Is Strong

 remember life without you, and i never want to go back


Being without you takes a lot of getting used to,I should learn to live with it
but i don't want to

In case you didn't know you meaneverything to me

I don't know her,
but you make me hate her.

Its amazing how one person

can make your day with out even trying.

One smile from him and I know everything is going to be okay.

 i thought i would never get over him,
then i met you and it was like he never existed,
that's how i know your something special.

Before we even spoke i knew
you were going to be somethingspecialI don't know a thing about anything that I'm saying,
all I know is my heart is for you.

Every man needs a woman when his life is a mess because the queen protects the king, justWhen fighting for something you love, or something close to your heart,
don’t just make it rain;
Bring a whole ferocious storm. Make it pour. its like in a game of chess.

Look what's become of me...

wouldnt it be nice,to see you smile again?

And wouldnt it be awsome,just to hold your hand?

yet wouldnt it be perfect... to know you love me?

To MaKe LiFe WoRtH lIvInG yOu MuSt FiRsT fInD sOmEtHiNg WoRtH sAvInG!!

cant you see what your doing?

the devil always gets his way, and i need to exscape.

its so disgusting how much i love him.

its starting to scare me...

is this what its really like to love?

there is always a good side and dark side to love,

it all dipends on if you can find it.

its so hard to just look at you now.

i just need to find a way out of this place of shame!!

but you walked me home, and i felt love.

now we're walking up my street to my door,

and now your 3 inches from my face,

but i need to ask...

do you like chasing the rainbow,

and dancing in the rain,

watching cartoons,

on sunday,

in Pj's.

you asked me for my name that day,

and i wanna know...

do you like kissing,

when its raining,

do you like talking on the phone.

Am i that bad of a friend?

I trust you with everything...

Tell you everything...

You said BFF's!!

Doesnt that mean Best Friends Forever?

I helped you out when you needed me...

When you needed a friend the most i was there for you!!

And now i find myself sitting here,

Pouring my heart and soul out.

So that maybe someone can hear how much this hurts!!

I support you and your boyfriend...

All that matters to me is that your happy!!

But i dont wanna get left in the dust,

To be forgotten and lost.

Cuz you said once...

Dont give up on me and i wont give up on you!

Well i didnt give up on you!!

Im still here,

Even though you dont kno it!

Ill always be here for you,

Cuz your my best friend and i love you like a sister!!!!

My rules to life... as it stands

1. I wasn't afraid of falling for once in my life, guess I just trusted the ground beneath me.
2. there will always be that one boy who loves you because you're not like anyone else.
3. it's completely impossible to find a guy who won’t hurt you. so instead, go for the guy who will make the pain worthwhile.
4. I don't want the whole entire world, the sky and the stars, I just want you to lie underneath them with me.
5. I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.
6. You know, I could’ve held you in my arms forever & it still wouldn’t have been long enough.
7. I want something real. Something I can touch and hold onto...A love that makes my heart skip and gives me that amazing feeling in the pit of my stomach I want forever.
8. I just want that late night movie, long walks in the park, cuddle up on the couch, kind of relationship.
9. There is no real definition for love. it could be that endless feeling of happiness you get from being around that person or the butterflies you feel fluttering around inside of you when he smiles. but one thing I'm sure of is that we all fall in love sometime in our life, & when we do, then & only then can we give our definition of love.
10. When someone sees you at your worst and still thinks you look your best. that’s someone worth keeping. 
11. You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or their fancy car ; you love them because they sing a song that only you can hear.
12. Open your eyes 'cause what you don't see might be exactly what you're looking for.
13. Don't listen to the world, they say we're never gonna make it. don't listen to your friends, they would've never let us start. and don't listen to the voices in your head, listen to your heart.
14. People don't always change. they just find new ways to lie to you.
15. You can't go through life thinking everyone you meet will let you down.