the timid little girl

Hey there... I've been busy, sorry.

So, lets get straight to the point. What your parents do in the span of your life that you live with them, directly impact what you do. It impacts what you do, feel, how you see... everything. Your parents could be timid people, scared of everything. Maybe their people that like doing a lot of different things. Needless to say, what they do to you wears off.

I used to be very close to my father, loved him to bits. Went to movies every weekend and lunch. Went to car shows and water parks... we where inseparable!! So why did that change? Why did all of the sudden that perfect, happy, calm child hood just drop off the face of my world and just end. Why did I end up yelling and screaming at him, fighting to get my word in and crying after he throughs a fit and stops talking? How did everything just turn to shit?

Did I do something to deserve this? Did I grow up so fast that he thought that everything I said was a lie or just another load of teen-age bullshit? Someone answer me this freaking riddle 'cause I have no clue on how to solve it.

I can't get a single word in without him saying I'm wrong, or that I'm lying. I don't need that shit. I'm not lying, sure I don't tell him everything but thats 'cause I'm now scared of him. I've had enough of fighting to get my word in or having to scream at him for him to hear me. No, I'm not a careless teen. Sure, I've tried shit that I'm not proud of, but I don't do it any more! I stopped 'cause i didn't want to hurt him.

You know that song from Taylor Swift? Mine. That one line that says Careless mans, careful daughter? Well, thats me. But that first part, You fell in love, sadly enough, hasn't happened yet.

I'm closer to my mom now. I try to stay away from my dad... I still love him though. I always will. I'm just scared, scared that I'm going to let him down one day. We still laugh and smile, but I say the wrong thing and its all gone. Again. And you know that other song from Taylor? Never grow up?

That's me.

To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
No, no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up